I Have Had Enough

Have you ever felt so exhausted that you didn’t think you could make it to lunch? Have you ever had anxiety that kept you from doing the things you love? What about anger and frustration? That “about to blow a gasket” frustration that has you yelling at people inside your head? That is me, almost every day, and I have had enough.

Eight years ago I was a newlywed who just moved across the country. I was excited, nervous, and happy. But I didn’t feel that way. I felt anxious, angry, scared and alone. At some point every day I felt I was going to die, for no good reason. Talk about scary. I saw doctor after doctor and they kept telling me I was depressed. “But I am NOT depressed,” I demanded time after time. No one would listen. My symptoms only “matched” depression and anxiety and all that the doctors wanted to do what give me a pill and send me on my way. I was not having any of it. So I persisted. I kept going to the doctor until he would listen, well, sort of. He decided to run some labs. Sure enough, my thyroid levels were off. It indicated I have hypothyroidism. But my symptoms weren’t “typical” so he didn’t think that was the problem. Excuse me? I kept saying I wasn’t depressed, he found something physically wrong with me, yet he was trying to convince me it was all in my head. Here’s your thyroid pill, here’s your antidepressant and be on your way, please.  Yeah, no.

Fast forward to the present. It’s been eight years, four different thyroid medications and I am not getting better. I have had three children and three completely different experiences with postpartum depression (more on that another time). The only time I ever feel good is when I am pregnant, which frightens my husband! Seriously though, I have had it. I am tired of feeling like a shell of a person. I am tired of being tired, no exhausted. My children don’t even know who I really am. No one seems to understand the severity of it all. I have heard, “exercise more, you will feel better.” Umm, nope. I can barely get out of bed. “Eat this, or this and you will feel great!” Again, no. I have tried medications, supplements, protein and veggie shakes, exercise, going gluten free, high fructose corn syrup is out, more veggies, chiropractic care, essential oils and prayer. Lots and lots of prayer.

Some of those have helped. Definitely a cleaner diet, oils and chiropractic care. But it hasn’t been enough. I literally wake up, no roll out of bed, and immediately check to see how long until the kid’s nap time so I can lay down again. What kind of life is that? I am, at times, very low on patience, irritable, and want to be left alone. I cry often, the knowing something is wrong with me but not being able to fix it is frustrating and depressing. So yes, now I am depressed. It’s like I am underwater and cannot reach the surface and the water is getting darker and colder. I am drowning in my illness.

This “disease,” or whatever you want to call it, has affected my marriage, my relationship with my children, my relationships with friends and family, and has caused me to stop really participating in life.

I have prayed almost every night for eight years for God to heal my body. I believe HE has listened and has answered my prayers. I truly believe this move to Nashville is the beginning of my journey to health and happiness. Ever heard of Nutrition Response Testing? Me either, until recently. My husband happened to hear a radio show with a doctor from Nashville describing everything I have been going through and how he can help. My husband, Louis, encouraged me to attend the workshop so off I went!

During the workshop I literally got goosebumps. He was describing EVERYTHING I was feeling! It’s like he designed the workshop just for me. He explained what was going on in my body and how he can help through nutrition without medication. Say what? He claims my inability to fall asleep, mood swings, anxiety, thyroid problems, inability to lose weight, depression and exhaustion can all be healed through a nutrition plan specific to me. No gimmicks, no “one pill” magic. Just nutrition and hard work. At this point, I am willing to try anything. I made an appointment on the spot.

Nutrition Response Testing is an assessment that combines an “understanding of anatomy, physiology, neurology, kinesiology, and biochemistry. It allows the trained practitioner to actually identify and correct the underlying causes of the ‘disease’ rather than simply suppress symptoms,” (Rosen, Paul J. The Missing Piece). Sounds good, right? I think so! I went to my first appointment and the doctor did a bunch of tests to see why I am feeling the way I am. He pinpointed the root of the problem, my thyroid. But of course, I knew that already. He didn’t stop there. He wanted to know why it is a problem. The result? high levels of mercury in my system. SCARY! He performed, even more, tests and, without going into too much detail, found out why I am barely able to get out of bed. Many of my organs are performing at an 80-year-old’s level. WHAT? HOW? WHY? WHAT DO I DO NOW? Well, I started to cry. That didn’t help much. But the doctor assured me he can help and get all my organs back on track. Yes, please!

As of now, I am in the first week of Phase 1 of my treatment. This is the fine tuning of my personal program. I am taking specific mineral, enzyme and metal detox supplements. I am also keeping a food journal to identify where my problem areas are. For the next four to six weeks I will have weekly visits to test how I am handling the supplements. If all goes well, I will move on to Phase2. It’s early, and I have yet to see any significant changes. I pray I can document and share success. This may not be the answer, but it has opened my eyes to new treatments. I am excited, I am ready to feel alive again. But more importantly, I finally have hope.

When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole? John 5:6

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2 thoughts on “I Have Had Enough

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